Despite its benefits, social media can be incredibly overwhelming. Sometimes I get the desire to unplug and shut it all down. Not necessarily because I feel pulled in multiple directions or bogged down by the volume or frequency, but because people can truly say anything. I like social media, in general, but there can be quite a bit of negativity. Often there is drama. I don’t like that it sucks me in. It’s like a form of entertainment, seeing people lose their minds on a screen about generally inconsequential things, but I feel more drained afterward. It isn’t worth my time. 

When my band broke up, the social media posts about us were an absolute mess. Really, our break-up was aggravated by a social media post in the first place. Somebody who wasn’t even a band member ended up getting punched in the face for it (and it was live streamed). Although the dissipation of our band ended up being a good thing in the end, experiences like that make me want to delete social media altogether.

However, there are other times that I really enjoy social media. When I’m alone and feel anxious, I scroll through Twitter for memes. It helps me calm down and distracts me. But I can’t help but wonder: does that mean it’s becoming a crutch? Do I rely on social media instead of tackling my issues head-on? 

In his song “Blast Damage Days,” Jeff Rosenstock says, “These are the Amazon days, we are the binge-watching age//And we’ll be stuck in a screen until our phones fall asleep.” In their song, “The Entertainment’s Here,” AJR says, “You wonder what they did before inventing the phone//Yeah, how could anybody face the quiet alone?” These lyrics are a little too relevant, and it is genuinely refreshing to see artists tackling these questions of technology. But it also forces you to think about your own consumption and reliance on tech.

In order to combat the constant information, I’ve placed time limits for social media apps on my phone. In truth, though, this doesn’t do much. iPhone will give you an option as to whether you want to continue on the app for 5 minutes or ignore your limit for the rest of the day. I generally choose the latter. Maybe I set the limits to make myself feel better, but I ignore them for convenience. 

I believe that FOMO is very real. However, I think it affected me a lot more in high school and my freshman year of college. Seeing other people having more fun than me on social media made me feel bad about myself. I spent a lot of time trying to cultivate the “right” Instagram images for instant gratification. But I was also having real experiences at the same time (maybe not as much in high school, but certainly when I entered college). Eventually it stops feeling like such a race. But that doesn’t mean I don’t make an effort to post my vacation photos or consider a caption for a long time before I post. I still posted a photo for my second anniversary with my boyfriend. I still have the desire to show everyone how “great” my life is. Social media breeds that type of behavior and even if you grow out of certain things, it doesn’t necessarily go away. Human beings crave validation.

In my social media class we’ve been talking about cultivating your “personal brand.” I know that I have one, but I’m not exactly sure what it is yet. As far as FOMO and JOMO go, I think I spend a lot of time trying to show how “punk rock” I am on social media, or, as mentioned, post a lot of photos from travelling, or concerts, or other specific experiences. Maybe that’s what it is; for the most part, I try to focus on experiences. Again, I guess, to show how fantastic my life must be. That’s the issue, isn’t it? It’s always a competition. Maybe I want other people to feel FOMO. Maybe I just like attention. Or maybe it’s genuine, and I truly just want to share joy. I don’t know. It’s probably a little bit of all of that. Social media is complex, but maybe it doesn’t have to be. I suppose now I’m overthinking it.

In order to get the most out of my life, it might be smart to disconnect more. I think this blog is evidence of that. Sometimes it’s just nice to have a break and I don’t give it to myself enough because I truly am worried about missing something. I’m used to being constantly connected. Letting go of some of that is scarier than knowingly relying on it. “Personalized” social media gives us the illusion of control, and human beings are more desperate for control than they are for validation. Being plugged in gives us both.

Cover Photo: Outlet Background, courtesy of FreePik